Opening up

So the beginning of today was kind of a struggle. Every now and then the feeling of loneliness and depression can come upon me. Today I was kind of overwhelmed with both. I was trying to figure out why I feel this way? Maybe its because I have never known what it feels like to be loved in a real deep way through another human being. My dad has never been around. My mom loves me so much but she usually shows it through giving me things. My family has never been "super close". Only God knows what is really going on in my heart. I have been constantly getting reminded of the beauty in counseling. I keep hearing stories of how it has really just brought out some deep stuff in people. I really think that the Spirit is putting it on my heart to find counseling. I used to think that counseling was only for people that were messed up but when I really look at the fruit from it, it seems like everybody could use some. I really just want to let God in on the deepest parts of my heart. I really want deep things to come out of my heart for my them to be healed by Gods hand. I want to surrender completely.