S.O.W

So today school was gnarly :) Our teacher wasn't able to make it to class so instead we split up into groups and we had twenty minutes to write a song about a bible story. We got assigned Jonah so we grabbed a banjo and cajon and it was glorious. Everyone wrote some sweet songs lol. Its amazing what you can do in twenty minutes.

Big God.

So I just recently moved to California to go to worship school and I have seen God move in such big ways. I felt called to come here through people speaking prophesy to me, people encouraging me, and just feeling the Holy Spirit move me in this direction. A few weeks before I left to drive out to Cali, I didn't have enough money to live or a place to stay or a job. I was nervous but I knew God would be faithful because this was a part of his plan. Long story short, God then provided money for me through many sources of people and I found a few roommates that were willing to get a place with me.

So my friend Mikey and I, started to make our journey out here to California. It was a long drive but we did some cool things on our way here. We did something called couch surfing in Oklahoma City and then we went to the Grand Canyon. The Grand Canyon was amazing and I was in awe. It made me feel little and it helped me see the bigness of God. It reminded me that God is in complete control of everything. I am so little compared to him and I will fail if I try to run my life in the flesh. I am letting God take control of everything!

I have been here for a little over a week and God has provided like crazy! I now have a town house that I am living in with 3 other guys. I have a full time job at a pet store. I started my classes and I met some awesome friends!

Classes have been sooo good and I am growing and learning so much. I am trying to keep my schedule balanced with school and work but I am super excited for this school year and to see what God is gonna do.

Finally A Busy Day.

So this is picture is from a wedding that I got to play one of my songs in! I was so honored and blessed by being able to be a part of the wedding. The wedding was for my good friends Phil and Shelby. Just being real.....Weddings make me want to cry. I just loved it how their love for each other came out of the overflow of their love for God. It was such a beautiful picture of two people becoming one. It was a good time : )

I also got to hang out with my friends Tyler and Tye in Kendelville. They are soooo fun to be around. I always have such a good time hanging out with them. We all went to a birthday party for my friend Larissa in North Webster.

Today I was just so encouraged by seeing God work through his children. Whenever I see God working or doing things in other peoples lives I get super stoked and encouraged that God is moving.

I'm gonna Blog more : /

So here is the deal. I stopped blogging because I was getting overwhelmed with busyness (which is kind of an excuse) so I didn't want to add on to the pile. It is my summer now and all I have is time so I am gonna start it back up for the time being. I am actually bored all time. I am currently looking for a job right now but I have had no luck what so ever. Its been rough but God has still been providing for me though.

I feel like God keeps saying to me the verse in Psalms...Be still before the Lord and Patiently wait on him. So I am trying to rest the best I can but its difficult!

One thing I did today out of boredom was go to my church and help my worship pastor clean the projectors in the church. It was actually kind of fun because I was in this machine that lifted me about 30 to 40 ft in the air.

In return he bought me lunch at Macinos. This was the highlight of my day : )

Student Staff Weekend!

So This weekend I went to Chicago for a Young Life Student Staff weekend. It was such a refreshing experience. I have been overloaded with homework lately so it was really good for me to just get away for a few days ( Even though I shouldn't have because I had so much homework) It was good seeing old friends that I knew from other Young Life events in the past. In the picture on the top left are some of the people we chilled with when we walked around Chicago. I know the guy in the green shirt from when I worked at this Young Life camp for a month and the other two girls are from his area. The other two guys are Mikey and Ben and they are some of my good friends/co-leaders here in Fort Dizzle. We got to eat at this popular place in Chicago called Giordanos. All I am gonna say is YUMMY IN MY TUMMY.

One thing I really took from this weekend was the realization that I need to pour into my leaders more. You can't just send people into ministry hoping that they will figure it out. You have to walk with them in ministry and allow them to do ministry the way they were made to do it. I really want to get rid of the word "volunteer" and let them see themselves as believers bringing the kingdom here on earth! I want to change my mind set where I can see them in that way as well. I want them to be the leaders!

Fun Day. YAY

Today was a solid day. I didn't really get much done but the 80 degree weather was so good to soak in! I got an application for school of worship so I am going to fill that out as soon as I can and see what God does. This picture on the top is a picture of my little brother Mikey. It was his birthday and he was turning 9! We had his birthday at Chuckie Cheese and I thought it was fun but a little crazy for me lol. Overall I was excited to be there. I went to the circle tonight and we talked about sin. It was some good discussion and I for sure got a lot out of it. Then I went shopping with Mikey and Destinie. Destinie is looking into being a Young Life leader and she is gonna be perfect for it! Im excited!

D-e-M-O... not the store that used to be in the mall.

I have been really lazy lately when it comes to blogging. I actually have been overwhelming myself with busyness (Which I tend to do a lot). I am trying to get my priorities right and just try to focus on Young Life, School, and Music. I have been doing really well otherwise. God has been really affirming me in a lot of things so far.

Speaking of Music. I have been working on this 3 song EP in the studio. So far it has been working out really well. I have been blessed with phenomenal musicians to help me with recording. The EP should be out and ready to go around April 24th ish?

Cardboard box Testimonies

So today was pretty interesting. I started off the day with only three hours of sleep because my church (Grace Gathering) was having a 24 hour prayer night. My friends and I decided to go to the church and pray at 3am because its not likely for people to be praying around that time. I also had to play guitar at Grace this morning for worship so my friend Pony and I just slept at the church. YES!

We did this thing at our church today called Cardboard box testimonies. Watch this video to understand it a little bit more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PolU2JRH_A

My cardboard said on one side. "Grew up without a Father" and then on the other side it said "Embraced by my Heavenly Father"

Seeing everybody's testimonies brought me to tears of joy because I was just in awe of what God did in people's lives. It was powerful.

Yesterday my sister and I received money from my mom from her taxes. My mom gave my sister 100 dollars to go shopping for spring break only if she cleaned the WHOLE house. All day yesterday my sister worked really hard to clean but today at Church my sister felt led in her heart to give all of her money away for the offering. You don't understand how much my sister LOVES shopping. This was huge!!! Its so exciting to see God work in her.

Opening up

So the beginning of today was kind of a struggle. Every now and then the feeling of loneliness and depression can come upon me. Today I was kind of overwhelmed with both. I was trying to figure out why I feel this way? Maybe its because I have never known what it feels like to be loved in a real deep way through another human being. My dad has never been around. My mom loves me so much but she usually shows it through giving me things. My family has never been "super close". Only God knows what is really going on in my heart. I have been constantly getting reminded of the beauty in counseling. I keep hearing stories of how it has really just brought out some deep stuff in people. I really think that the Spirit is putting it on my heart to find counseling. I used to think that counseling was only for people that were messed up but when I really look at the fruit from it, it seems like everybody could use some. I really just want to let God in on the deepest parts of my heart. I really want deep things to come out of my heart for my them to be healed by Gods hand. I want to surrender completely.

Grace is compelling.

Something really exciting happened to me today. First off to give you a little background, my family is a little different then most peoples family. We just constantly have craziness going on in our family but I still love everyone with all my heart. Well my little brother Noah has really bad anger problems and my youngest brother Mikey told me a secret of how Noah was going to beat these kids up at school who have been picking on him and his friends everyday after school gets out. Once Noah heard Mikey tell me this then immediately Noah ran at Mikey and hit him as hard as he could and he tackled him. Then Noah started slamming the door and I tried talking to him but he wasn't listening. I offered him GRACE instead of punishment. I told Noah if he let me talk to these kids who have been picking on him and if he apologizes to Mikey in a real way from his heart that I would take him out to the IMAX theater to Alice in Wonderland 3d. His heart went immediately from being hard to soft. He told me that he trusts that I would take care of the situation. Then I saw him apologize to Mikey ( which he never does) in a REAL way. It just made me think of how we as Gods children don't deserve his Grace but he still offers it. Grace is compelling when we except in our hearts.

Praise God for his amazing love!

Gods Kingdom is here.

I am so privileged to help out with this organization called Young Life. Young Life is an organization that works with High school kids and the key of Young Life is just to build relationships with High School kids. God just blew my mind today! Listen to all the situations where he shined today. I went to Northside today for lunch (the school I do Young Life at) and there is this kid who told me that he attempted to commit suicide last week. He was really open about it and trusted me with the information. I just offered out a hand to help him and he really wanted the help from me. He wanted someone to be there to talk about his life situations with. I got show Christ to him!

So there is this other kid who has been really wanting to get involved with Young life but he can't because his Grandmas a Jehovah witness and she is against anything else that doesn't have to do with being a Jehovah witness. He asked his Grandma if he could go but then she just said no but guess what..? He was at club tonight and he loved it!

Young Life club was so good tonight. There was so much diversity in the room which is something that we all have been praying for. I really felt like club tonight was an answered prayer in many different ways.

There is this other kid who has been struggling with some things in his life. He really just explained to me that he had this moment tonight where he just felt God speaking to him. He felt God's presence during the song came to my rescue and also during the club talk. I gave the talk tonight at club which I felt pretty good about just because I really felt God speaking through me. I talked about how God wants to enter into our messy situations but how its easy for us to put up fences up around our messy situations. This Young Life kid was telling me how he wants to bring the fences down because he has been keeping them up. He wants to let God in.

Amen
God is good.

God is good.

I do this thing with Young Life called "campaigners" and its a bible study for high school guys who are interested in taking this whole figuring out who God is to the next level! Mikey, Ben and I didn't really have anything planned but God still did some good things in these guys. We read in Philippians 3. We just talked about the part where Paul was saying how he used to be righteous by the law but how he is made righteous now by just knowing Christ. The guys asked great questions and I really felt Gods spirit working in them. Its such a blessing for me to be in the position that I am in.

Affirmation.

Today started off pretty simple. I had a good work out with my friend/brother Mike. Then I met up with my good friend Abby and we just caught up on life. I tried to study but I failed. God affirmed me on some future plans in my life today. For the past year God has put a strong desire in my heart to go to worship school in California but I only wanted this to happen by his will. I have just been praying that God would lay out a path. My good friend called me today just wondering where my heart was with it and he has a lot of connections at the school of worship and he made it seem like he could really help me out. It seems like God is just laying out this path for me to go to worship school. Our conversation really felt significant as far as God getting ready to allow this to happen but I am still gonna be patient with open hands.

Young Life!

Young Life started back up and it felt so good to bring it back. This picture above is a picture of Mikey, Ben and I. We did this skit pretending to be Arabian people pretty much. I really don't know how the kids took it but they were left feeling awkward which is good lol. I brought these northside kids with me tonight named Brandon, TJ, and Pyo. Tj and Pyo were new and they loved it! It was really cool to see them come to club because they were breaking aka break dancing. God is bringing a lot of diversity at club and God is just really breaking down barriers with the tension between the two High schools (Northside and Snider) which is an answer to prayer. I'm excited for this semester of Young Life to start up!

Hosea 11

I haven't been blogging as much as I've been wanting to but that's just because I've been lazy/ busy. As I've said before, I've been going through the book of Hosea and its been really difficult for me to read just because of the wrath that God had on Israel. In Hosea 11, God starts showing compassion and love towards Israel even when they are rebelling against him. It says that "his heart is changed and that his compassion is aroused".

Hosea 11:3-4

"It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms, but they did not realize it, I who healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness and with ties of love."

Sometimes I forget where God has brought me from. I forget that he is the one who breathed life into me. This verse just allows me to go back remember how great our God really is. It helps me remember the love he showed me in my past and the love he is showing me now. God is love.

Today was a struggle for me wanting to seek God but when I look in the past and see what he has done and what he is doing right now,it makes me want him more. So my prayer is that I will consistently remember what God has done but also look forward to what he is doing and what he will do.

Good Day. HEEEYYY

This made the morning start off really nice. It was a cup of old crown coffee and a blueberry muffin. I have this 9 chapter biology test tomorrow morning and this helped me do some studying. Well Kind of.

Then I have been looking for a new place to record just because I've been writing some new music and I really want God to use it someway or somehow. I went to this studio today out in Grabill called the recording house. It is ran by this guy named Lynn Graber. He seems to be like a really sweet dude and the place he has is awesome! So my plans as of now is to try and get some recording done with him. P.S. That man in the background is my good friend Landon Bailey and he was laying down some guitar tracks but he had this awesome beard and long hair. It was mega burly.

Then we had some family bonding time making some won tons for this super bowl party with a bunch of Young life guys! Won tons are a Korean dish and everybody loved them! My granny is from Korea so you know she makes them good. The Super Bowl on the other hand was some good stuff because The Saints won ! Better yet the Colts Lost!!!!!

Good Day.

Art show = sweet

Tonight I went to this art show and there was this local band playing called The Darkroom. I think they might be one of my favorite local bands but the venue they played had up all this art and it was packed out! Over at the Pint and Slice (across the street) there was more art put up there. I got to see a bunch of familiar faces and I just got to hang out with friends. It was a good time!

However I am reading through Hosea right now which is kind of rough. I have trouble reading through the Old Testament sometimes just because its difficult for me to understand it without having someone there to explain it to me. I am trying to break through this wall I always hit. Well so far the book of Hosea is just showing the wrath of God when his people rebel against him. Its really difficult to read but it is also very real of who God is. Sometimes its so easy to just see God for all the "cute things" but our God has wrath and I need to just let the reality of that soak in. I can't overlook it.

Balance Problems

So I had a study group last night with some friends Amanda, Jaime, And Bowers. We just went through this study guide together for our Bio class. The book on the left of the picture is our actual bio book and the stack of papers on the right is our notes for our upcoming test. This test is over 9 chapters. Just let that soak in. NINE CHAPTERS! Note: this test is on Monday morning when the Super Bowl is on Sunday night. not good. I also have another test this weekend for my Psychology class. So what I am trying to say is that I am a little bit overwhelmed and stressed with school. I was supposed to go on this weekend retreat for this organization that I am part of called Young Life but it got cancelled due to the bad weather. Which is a bummer because I was really looking forward to it but it also allows me to have some more time to study. This whole idea of stress and worry has just been getting a hold of me and it effects me spiritually. Its so easy for me to live in the place of just trying take everything on myself but I can't do that! God calls us to fully hand over our lives to him so that we can have life to the full. John 10:10. My prayer is that I naturally live in the place of handing it all over to God!

I do have some exciting stuff coming up though! first off Young life is starting up this week which I am stoked for. Mike and Ben posted a video which kind of puts this desire in my heart for me and Zach to post a Young Life video so we will see what happens. Also I have been talking to this guy about recording which I am really excited for. His name is Lynn Graber and I am going to check out his studio this Sunday. Plus I am thinking about getting chipotle tomorrow which thats always exciting!

The surgery.

So I havent been posting much lately because I've had a lot going on between school and my moms surgery. My mom had a sist on her ovary and she had to get her ovary taken out. I was kind of grossed out because I saw pictures of her ovary and stuff. eww. The surgery ended up going well but it was difficult taking her home after her breakdown at walgreens but I survived and so did she. Shes recovering pretty fast which is good. Homework is killing me though but im just trying to stick it out.

Rest.

So Church was really powerful for me today. Our Pastor just talked about physical rest. He explained that rest and sleep are divine. He shared a few passages in scripture where it just showed Jesus resting. I feel like this is something I know but something I totally don't live by. This is an area that I want to grow in more. We went through Mark 1 : 29 - 39. It talked about how Jesus healed people and drove out demons but then after that he just went to a solitary place to pray. Then everyone started looking for him because there were more people in need of healing but he decided to turn away from the people and move on to the next city. There will always be a need for people so sometimes you have to say no to good things. I want to make rest a part of my rhythm. I want to Be Still before God more often. I don't want to get caught up and lost in the busyness of life. I need to Let God build his church and stop trying to do it myself

This is my bed with my dolphin covers and I am about to go sleep on it. Yes. Rest here I come.

Dreams for 2010

So we had this leadership weekend at my church where the purpose was to help inspire, encourage, and train our leaders at Grace Gathering. I helped lead worship at the leadership weekend and I just really saw God move through people. It was awesome to see people sing, dance, and shout during worship. People were just overflowing with God's spirit. I'm really excited for what God is doing in our Church. One thing Pastor Chris was talking about was his own personal dreams for himself and the church in 2010. So I decided to make a list of my own personal dreams for 2010.

Dreams for 2010 :

- Be more bold when it comes to sharing the gospel to unbelievers

- Love my family more

-Be more open with my personal life to other people

-Handover lustful thoughts and desires

-Less controlled by what people think of me

-Grow and learn in the area that God has gifted me in

-Making the confession of sins a regular thing

-Become more sensitive to the Holy Spirit

- Take more Risk

-More discipline in my school work

Getting back into the swing of things.

School has been real difficult and I'm constantly in this place of worry. I'm always afraid that I am going to do bad on a test or not understand the material well enough. Homework can just consume so much of your time. I am really trying to live in the place of giving all this worry to God. (Matthew 6:25-34 "Do not worry") Even though school is a main priority, I am still going to seek his kingdom first. Worrying about school can really effect me spiritually but my prayer is that I give all this worry to God.

I decided to take a break tonight after my late night class and just go to starbucks and relax. I ended up running into some good friends and we all just caught up and hung out. I am currently in the process of writing a new song that is just the overflow of my heart and I really like where it is going but I want God's spirit to lead the song on how it should be written but I'm excited for it.

Clothing myself in humility

God is really changing my heart in the area of humility and being humble. It is so easy for me to try and make myself look good in front of people or for me to feel prideful on the things I do. I need to remember that without Christ in me, I AM NOTHING. I want to die to myself. I want to clothe myself in humility. I want to love others as myself. So God's glory can come in full.

1 Peter 5:5 "All of you clothe yourself in humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble"

Matthew 16:24-25 "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."

Tonight was good. I went to Campus Crusade and God's presences was there. We just felt the reality of what was really going on in Haiti. We spent time in sorrow together just praying for that country. We believe that God is going to do something big in that situation.

Good day gone bad...well kind of

So today started off going really well! Church was so good today. Worship went amazing and we had a guest speaker named Bryan Clay come and speak. God really used him to speak into my life because he just talked about resisting the devil and choosing to become closer with God. He went through the book of James and just hit a lot of spots that were good. Then after church my friends Ben, Jim, and I went to Pastor Chris's house and just watched football and talked about life. It was good just to build a good rapport with Pastor Chris.

Then everything went in the wrong direction. I watched the Chargers game. It was good for me though because sometimes I take games like this way to serious but I am just so sick of saying maybe next year. The Chargers are just a tease for me. In the season, they give me hope but when the playoffs come they always crash and burn. So Chargers lost 17-14 and I'm just letting it soak in.

It ended on a good note though because we had campaigners at my house tonight which is a bible study I help lead for high school boys. It is cool to be a part of that because I am witnessing God work in these guys lives and it encourages my walk with the Lord.

You stood before my failures

So I have been listening to the song called “The Stand” a lot because Passion just released a bonus song from the new passion album. Kristian Stanfill covered the song. Every time I listen to it these words soak into my heart: “You stood before my failures and carried the cross for my shame” Personally its difficult for me to accept Gods grace. Whenever I tend to turn from God or harden my heart towards God, I always ask myself the same question. How could he ever take me back? Why would he ever want to use me? The more I hold back from completely accepting God's love, the less full I am. Today I read in Hebrews 4:16 " Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." The enemy tries to tell us that God doesn't fully love us after we turn from him but my prayer for myself and for others is that we can approach the throne of grace with confidence so we can have life to the FULL.

The Stirring in my heart

I feel Gods presence in me like no other which is rare for me in the winter because I usually struggle with depression during this time. I recently had an experience at a conference called "Passion" this place had some of the best speakers and worship leaders but even beyond that I felt Gods spirit working in me at this place. There were 21,000 people at this place and about 75% of them were college students. You can see on the picture on the left just how many people there are and that's not even all of them. I felt like I experienced the kingdom of heaven when you see this many people just praising God in multiple ways. I heard a lot of messages that were tough to swallow but Francis Chan really gave one that I felt the spirit really convicting me. He talked a lot about suffering and wanting to suffer for the sake of Christ because it brings intimacy with him. This is an area I don't experience enough in my life but I want it because it is so biblical that when we lose our life we gain life. This is an area where I am just trying to let God change my heart.

Tonight was good though. I met up with my good friend Mikey whom I haven't seen in 3 weeks which is a really long time! It was good just hearing about his trip and his relationship with Janice. What they have is beautiful and Christ centered. My prayer is that if I were to be in a relationship that it would have the same foundation they have. Her family took him to mexico or something like that and he brought me back a Cuban cigar which isn't legal but oh well. And yes I do like to smoke cigars occasionally so I was happy with the gift he brought me.